Kindergarten krush

One unappetizing vision.

   Well, it was bound to happen. My daughter and one of her classmates have professed their love for one another.
   He's 6, she's 5.
   It figures.
   I'm not sure how it all started but it appears he's captured her tender heart with vivid descriptions of a trip to Chuck E. Cheese's. I really didn't think I'd be having to deal with this so soon, but would I ever be ready?
  Daughter: Daddy, can we please go to Chuck E. Cheese's?
  Me: Well, we'll have to talk to mother about it.
  Daughter: Awww, do we have to?
  Me (emboldened by her slight deflation): Yes, I'm afraid so.
  You see my tender offspring has never been to the boisterous pasta bistro, and no doubt her 'boyfriend' has filled her head with visions of some sort of pizza-scented nirvana.
   Me (attempting to dampen her spirits a bit more): It's so loud there.
   Daughter (who has never been to such a place): No it isn't.
   And so it begins.
   In order to drown out the screeching and banging I imagine I'll have to load the iPod with Ozzy Osbourne, Hendrix and some Stones for the inevitable trip to the munchkin mecca.
   I somehow found myself inside an upChuck E. a couple of decades ago. I can't remember why or exactly where. All I do recall is that I wanted to get out as soon as possible. I don't even think the party I was with included any kids.
   What I do know is that this 'older fella' my precious girl is enamored with better keep his hands where I can see them or he might be finding it difficult to pick up his pizza.

La Dee Da, indeedy do do

Ingenuity trumps tramps.

   Our neighbor is a wonderful guy who has a great rapport with my daughter. He brought her a doll for Christmas, and maybe because the doll's 'story' claims she's "from New York City" (as is he) is what made him purchase the thing, but it's obvious he's never had a daughter or he'd never have given it as a present (I hope).
   Dee, the ringleader of the La Dee Da dolls, is manufactured by a group of grotesque profiteers called Spin Master.
   While 5-to-12-year-old girls are the stated target market, Dee (the persona) is said to be 16 years old. Charming.
   So, of course, a 16-year-old streetwise New Yorker is exactly the model teen-ager that 5-year-old girls need to emulate.
   Fortunately for my daughter (or maybe more so for me), Dee wasn't all that impressive in her "fashion-forward" outfit. So my munchkin fashioned her own togs with which to drape the toy trampette (note pic).
   I must say I was rather pleased. Though her mother and I rolled our eyes and cringed when the present was initially opened, our daughter — on her own — decided to 're-fashion' the toy.
   As for Dee and her La Dee Da friends, I found an online review of the toy line written with far too much detail. It would be humorous if it wasn't so pervy.
  Here's a bit:
   "Well, I got my hands on a few of the newest dolls from Spin Master. These girls have been causing a stir since they were displayed at the Toy Fair in New York last February. They are called "La Dee Da" dolls, named after Dee, who is the fashion-forward leader of the pack. The name of the line confuses me, though, because although it's catchy, don't people usually say, "well, la dee da" when they're being mocking and dismissive? Sometimes even "la dee frickin' da?" Are these dolls dissing me from inside the box?"
   Somehow, it doesn't sound like it was written by a female.
   Ick.