Thumbs up for the action fingers

www.nickjr.com/the-upside-down-show

   You might not be familiar with The Upside Down Show and unless we stayed up way late a couple of times it would remain a mystery to our daughter.
   Initially, my wife and I thought it was a fairly absurd exercise: Monty Python for kids, was how the better half described it.
   But our daughter was enthralled and relentless pleas for "again, again" have turned us into fans of the program.
   Australians Shane Dundas and David Collins managed to crank out 13 frenetic episodes before producers backed away from the zany half-hour episodes. Previously known as The Umbilical Brothers, a physical comedy act, Shane, David and crew earned a 2007 Logie Award plus the Creative Craft Daytime Emmy Award for Main Title Design and a Parents' Choice Award Silver Honor for Television in the same year.
   The brilliance of the show is the ability of the guys to produce intricate stories out of practically nothing.
   My daughter's favorite secondary characters are Fido the Fly, a pet fly who lives behind a tiny door in apartment; and Action Fingers — Knuckles and Pointy, who perform a variety of two-digit skits.
   Set your TV to record the Nick Jr 11 and 11:30 p.m. time slots to pick up reruns of this jewel from Down Under.
   Absurd skits aside, the show is a huge vocabulary-builder and the physical flexibility to Shane and David make for some hilarious viewing.

A corker of a proper porker

www.btvision.bt.com/kids/peppa-pig

   One of the smartest Nick Jr. offerings out there has got to be Peppa Pig. If nothing else, it's teaching my daughter how to speak with an Oxford accent and 'peppa' her conversations with British phrases and references.
   What initially caught my attention about the show was the contrast of swine speaking proper English and displaying impeccable manners (except for the occasional snorts of exclamation).
   Aside from Mummy and Daddy Pig, Peppa has a younger brother George. But the show isn't just about pigs. All of Peppa's friends represent other species who also speak proper English: Rebecca Rabbit, Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog, Freddy Fox, Wendy Wolf and others. My favorite supporting ‘characters’ are the Zebra clan: Zoë Zebra, Mummy and siblings Zaza, Zuzu, Zack and Zarafa.
   We've also started to wander around Peppa's web site for more Brit wit.

Of noises and angels

www.talknangels.com

   My wife and mother of our offspring was near the little dear in the wee hours of the morning.
   Both snoozing peacefully, the child began to stir, awakening her vigilant mom.
  "Mom, what's that noise?"
   Mother noted that the furnace has just turned on.
  Waving off the explanation as a feeble attempt, our daughter said: "No, it's just an angel getting its wings."
   It's so thrilling to see our daughter's progression of learning patterns and how she creates language, construction projects, artwork and imaginative, spontaneous (yet very involved) dramatizations.
   We've been discussing the state of trees on our daily drive to school. As she observed that some of the trees needed a "haircut," I countered with the idea that what they really need is more a "leaf" cut.
  After a brief pause a chuckle became audible from the back seat. "Oh, daddy, you're so silly."
   Silly maybe, but now when she speaks of tree shearing she calls it a leaf cut.
   And so do I.

That's quite the package



Photo by Max Anton Zimmerman

   It's only fair to give a nod to some superb packaging when one so rarely comes across it.  After numerous disappointments with both packaging and product I was thrilled to find a return to simplicity.

   I am speaking about the Wow Wow Wubbzy Kooky Kollectibles toy offering from FisherPrice.

   No clam-shell hell, no niggling staples; you just separate the plastic from the cardboard and peel it right off.

   Why is it so difficult for companies to grasp? Clearly a sizable cost of packaging comes from the "sophistication" of the package, but there's got to be a huge cost difference between the impossibly dangerous clam-shell approach to a simple piece of plastic and a little glue.

   It baffles me.

"Unlimited"? Sign me up

www.awkwardsilence.com

   It has always amused me in this country how, if something is deficient or problematic, that the solution always seems to end up being 'more' of whatever.
   Years ago I was in a Frisch's restaurant taking in a breakfast buffet when I noticed the sausage gravy tasted as though someone had dumped an ashtray into the mix. When I informed a waitress of the situation she replied, "Oh, well, we're about to bring out some more in a minute." More lousy food is not the solution.
   This concept, of course, was captured in the movie Annie Hall, where Woody Allen recounts one of his favorite jokes: Two women are sitting in a Catskill resort having lunch and the first one says, "The food here is terrible." The second one responds with, "I know, and such small portions."
   So it was no surprise, really, when wireless companies reacted to the wails from shell-shocked parents regarding their little heathens running up ginormous phone bills by offering 'unlimited' calling schemes.
   From a marketing viewpoint the worst thing the companies wanted was to lose customers. Armed with the knowledge that American parents are loathe to rein in their children's' bad habits, cell phone purveyors gradually went to extended plans and finally "unlimited" plans to squelch any further protestations.
   Is it me or is there something wrong with handing an adolescent a cell phone that has "unlimited" minutes?
  When have the words "children" and "unlimited" ever amounted to a positive outcome?
   And let's not let scientific study get in the way of the temporary mollification of kids as long as 'more is better' in this country everybody feels they are getting a deal.

Reach out and punch someone

www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov

   Let's face it, the sight of young girls viciously fighting in the USA is a disturbing trend.
   While there is greater emphasis on our young women learning how to compete both in the classroom and on the playing field it is natural that there will be some conflict, hurt feelings and bodily injury.
   It comes with the territory and if we are going to take our girls more seriously it's also time to minimize the princess factor and stress the Xena persona — smart, fit and fearless.
   So I was torn a bit recently when the cable channels start showing us video of two girls fighting and you can hear the voice of one soccer mom cheering her daughter on during the fisticuffs.
   Shocking, I know. But what is thrown in at the end of the reports that I saw was that the girl in question had been the target of cyber bullying and the fight was in response to that incident.
   It's a tough call, but certainly our daughter will be taking self-defense training as well as dance classes as she grows up.
   To me, cyber bullying is the worst of the worst: it is done privately, anonymously and carried out by absolute cowards who deserve the full prosecution of the law.
   One group, Common Sense Media, is leading the charge to eradicate cyber bullying [good luck with that], offering tips and strategies to help your kids fight this seemingly prevalent form of intimidation.

Licensed to lie, shame on you Dora

Photo by Max Zimmerman

   Okay, so far I cannot find anything negative written about Viacom International Toys, so buckle up.
   One would think that such a perceived reputable company would not produce absolute crap, but you would be wrong.
   Adding to the deception is none other than Nick, Jr., and the marketing gurus for Dora the Explorer.
   You see my daughter’s uncle so kindly purchased a set of Dora Walkie Talkies as a gift.
   Thrilled by the idea of chatting on a device endorsed by one of her favorite characters, we immediately opened the present, fed it the necessary batteries and were promptly rewarded with high-pitched, grating static.
   Odd, it seemed, but after careful inspection of the packaging I came to realize that my brother-in-law had unwittingly purchased an absolute piece of crapola.

Photo by Max Zimmerman

   If you cannot read the disclaimer to the right (which you cannot access until you open the package and look at the back of the walkie talkie) here it is:
   This device complies with part 15 of FCC Rules Operation is subject to the following two condition:[sic]
(1) this device may not cause harmful interference and (2) this deice must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation.
   So, what this means is that this device will not work unless you are at either the North Pole or the South Pole {and maybe not even there either} because the device will receive any frequency floating through the air. So when you press the button to operate, out comes screeching, unintelligible static.
   Dora's Walkie Talkies DO NOT WORK; do not waste your money on it: Viacom is running a scam.