More spoiled brats, please

Verizon wireless propaganda

  Verizon is stalking our daughters.
   I don't think that makes them sex offenders, per se, but their message to girls is at least emotionally obscene.
   It's bad enough that the telecom giant accosts adults with mailers, inserts, commercials, phone calls and even door-to-door harassment, but their latest brainwashing foray targets teen and {cringe} pre-teen girls in a manner I find upsetting.
   These filthy fascists are pushing the "princess" theme hard while serving up "envy" as a virtue — like it's something worth striving for.
   The premise Verizon is dangling in front of our daughters is that a primal need of any red-blooded American girl is to make her friends feel "less than" so she can feel "more than" (perpetuating the whole self-esteem horror). Your friends will envy what you have and view you as some kind of royalty.
   Here is the text that accompanies a photo (above) of Verizon's 2011 version of that precious girl next door:
   GET EVERYTHING WIRELESS.
   BE THE ENVY OF EVERYONE.
   Elevate your lifestyle with wireless devices that put you on a digital pedestal. Choose from the best cutting-edge smartphones and tablets out there. And, with everything wireless on the network that has everything to offer, connect at the speeds your digital majesty deserves.
   Allow me to revisit the above:
   GET EVERYTHING WIRELESS.
   BE THE ENVY OF EVERYONE.
   Elevate your lifestyle with wireless devices that put you on a digital pedestal. Choose from the best cutting-edge smartphones and tablets out there. And, with everything wireless on the network that has everything to offer, connect at the speeds your digital majesty deserves.

   As if that isn't enough, the four-page foldout brochure carries the title:
BE THE CENTER OF CONNECTION.
   I'm never buying another Verizon product again.

Let me draw a picture for you

www.rukhsanakhan.com

   Well, according to The New York Times, these are the best illustrated books for children this year. I don't think they come in any particular order and we also have to remember that the newspaper was also one of the main instigators of the war in Iraq.

   Children Make Terrible Pets — A young bear finds a lost boy and attempts to train him as a pet.

   Seasons — A French artist's images about the seasons, from a single green bud to a cloud shadow on a beach.

   Shadow —  In her family's attic, a girl’s shadow play comes to life.

   Big Red Lollipop — Rubina’s first American birthday party she’s ever attended is spoiled by her little sister.

   Henry in Love — A lovesick cat courts a winsome bunny.

   A Sick Day for Amos McGee — When a zookeeper comes down with a cold the animals travel to his home to take care of him.

   Subway — A celebration of New York's underground rail system.

   Bink & Gollie — A picture book about two friends, one cheerful, fearless and messy; the other skinny, precise and arrogant.

   Busing Brewster — In the early 1970s black siblings are bused to a new school.

   Here Comes the Garbage Barge! — A simple picture book about saving the planet, a environmental primer for young readers.
  No matter what the selections, I can still see my daughter's rapt attention when we read any Dr. Seuss book. The illustrations are captivating and the rhymes are divine.

It's more 'WTF' than 'Ni Hao'

  A popular Nick Jr. show, Ni Hao, Kai Lan, unfortunately has a few troubles.
   1) The show is missing the boat on subtitles and pronunciation guides. Maybe it's because some of the Chinese words sound like vulgarities in English (Shiiiiia, for instance). Still, It would help parents and children alike if we knew precisely what it was we're supposed to be saying and what it means.
   2) While stuffed toy versions of the show's characters can be found in toy stores, I know I'm not going to be purchasing one of Kai Lan's friends: Hoho.
   I don't care about what gender the little monkey is supposed to be (and it's not quite clear), I don't want my daughter cavorting closely with anything that remotely sounds like "prostitute."
   3) Without fail one of the characters, usually Hoho, throws a hissy fit until after much discussion the bruised ego is assuaged by talking out the problem.
   Our daughter has begun to mimic the hissy fit machinations, something we have had to sternly purge from her persona. As my wife acutely points out, no Chinese mother in her right mind would try this soft approach to bad behavior.
   Other than that, the cartoon teaches the importance of listening in order to understand how someone else might feel if they are left out or different or misunderstood.
   And again we have no parents in the cartoon [much like most of what's offered on children's TV], but Kai Lan's gentle grandfather, Ye Ye, often guides the little ones through rough patches and teaches them games and skills.

Now you see it; now you can't

   Well, it appears we have reached the breaking point of technology for children. As the various entertainment platforms have been racing to make everything 3D, Nintendo has issued a warning on their 3DS games for children.
    The company is admitting that the eyesight of children under six could be harmed by 3D games played on Nintendo's new handheld console.
  Nintendo said specialists had warned of possible damage that could be caused by 3D games which present different images to the right and left eye.
   Nintendo says younger children should only play 2D versions of 3DS games.
  The top screen of the new handheld is able to show 3D images without the need for special glasses.
  The company warns parents to turn off this function if the handheld is going to be used by a child under six years of age. 
   Nintendo joins Sony and Toshiba in alerting people to the ill effects that can attend watching 3D movies or playing 3D games.
   My suggestion to the entire issue is to give your child under six a book instead of a video game .... or crayons and some paper ... or go to the park ... or take a nap ... yadda, yadda, yadda.

Steve, I love you but ...

... each episode of Blues Clues ends with a salutation to a lie —
     "You can do anything that you wanna do."
   Earnest in its appeal, buoyant in its confidence building, it is nevertheless a lie nailed into the soft heads which are mesmerized by Mr. Burns googley eyes.
   At heart, the liberal mantra is well-meaning: through hard work, help and a tad of luck, you may be able to conquer a discipline to the point that you can be crowned an expert or guru or president. But even the president does not get to do "anything" he wants to do. Because he (and before too long, she) is saddled with responsibility, just like the rest of us.
   I would contend most of the time we must do what we have to do, whether we like it or not. That is responsibility: to ourselves, to our family, to society as a whole.
   If we all felt we could "do anything that you wanna do," there would be a wreck at every intersection followed by a shoot-out and a chase. Laws would have no merit as they would impede on doing whatever it is I wanna do.
   Now I'm sure Libertarians have an answer to this one, but I'm more concerned about what my daughter hears and interprets as the truth and for this reason the popularity of Blues Clues makes me cringe, because you can't jump off a roof and fly just because you "wanna".

What's in a name? Plenty

   There's always much ado about what to name the offspring. Family names seem almost immediately considered (with certain ones immediately nixed).
  One other issue, is where the actual pronunciation in its original tongue can make for some beautiful and exotic sounds, when the name is Anglicized — or more brutally 'Americanized' — the result could scar the child especially in the early years when the little monsters earn their monikers without trying.
   But with all that in mind, the one other factor one should consider is the length of the child's name and while it may seem shallow, consider that day care operations require you to write you child's name on every piece of clothing and sleeping needs that the munchkin will need.
   Hear that Summerlee or Mikayleigh or Aloysius or Damaskenos or Tamerlane?
   Keep it short. Keep it simple. You'll thank me later.

It's about time

   No matter how many things there are to do, there's only 24 hours in a day: 18 available ones if you cheat yourself two hours of sleep.
  And yet our society pushes us sometimes at hyper-speed to accomplish more or take on more that can possibly be managed. The relentless drumbeat of "news" and hucksters we are subjected to reminds us of all the things we "should" or "need" to have. This vomitous barrage of dilemmas and choices and guilt and need by themselves can drain the soul of a single person. But when, not so much a marriage, but a family — a child — enters the scene, the choices dilemmas, obliteration of time, are at times overwhelming, at times even temporarily paralyzing.